Walloped by Spring Break

For the first three days of April, I met my goals. I think. Then the weekend came... then spring break. And all this time that I foolishly envisioned I could structure for my writing goals was eaten up by mostly fun and exciting things (shopping for/trying to sell a horse) that meant we spent a lot of time in the car/truck/barn. And lots of state highways.

I fell off all wagons. Writing wagon. Exercise wagon. Eating right wagon. Even the laundry wagon.

But this wasn't a failure unless I stop here. A detour, possibly. Maybe even a trip into the ditch on the side of the road. But not a failure.

Come Monday, spring break is over. Then you'll find my behind in the chair. (Or my feet on the treadmill, working at my desk there.) And I'm going to keep showing up every day until I actually have changed my habits. Which means I'll keep showing up every day from then on.

Hallelujah amen.

8,000 Words Behind

I haven't written one word, except for several room service breakfast orders, which puts me 8,000 words behind for our first week. My DH and I went on a seven-day cruise last week. We had two days at sea and I had my laptop. I could have written. The thought even occurred to me. But I had chocolate instead and read a couple of books.

Before I left, I had visions that I would be writing. I took everything I needed. Everything but the slightest motivation.

One night I was even showered and pajamaed and in bed with a good book by 7:30. DH went to the casino and won $24. Ah me. That's about all the excitement I can stand and it was divine.

I wasn't completely lazy -- I did lots of miles on the promenade deck. Not as many miles as I had desserts, but better than no miles.

But now I'm back. The clothes washer may never catch up with all the laundry but I will catch up on my word count by writing 2,000 words a day, starting tomorrow. There's always tomorrow, right?

Was I Supposed to Write a Novel This Month?

The hall monitor caught me goofing off in the teacher's lounge. Actually, it was at the vet's office where I had to take my diabetic cat because, to use the medical terminology, he is "out of whack." Blood sugar too high. If only my word count were as high as my cat's blood sugar.

Was I supposed to write a novel this month? Uh oh. I seem to have fallen off the wagon and landed in a puddle.

Lots of personal stuff this month, but isn't that true of everyone? Writing should have been an escape from that, but somehow that didn't happen. Instead, the farther I fell behind in my goals, the more desperate I became. The more I pressured myself, the less I could do. I've got five chapters written and I've stalled.

The good news is that while writing my chapters, I laughed. (And I also burned a couple thousand calories on the treadmill.)

I earned some gold stars but there are too many voids. The interesting thing is that pattern of gold stars. It tells me how I work -- and how I don't work. When I get gold stars, I get them every day. When I don't get them, a whole week can pass by. That means I either work every day -- or I don't work at all. That kind of self-truth is pretty ugly but what it says is don't lose momentum. Keep going!

I need to forgive myself for failing to meet my own expectations, let it go, and get back to writing. This little check-in is a good thing (thanks, Marianne), because it allows me to adjust my goals.

What's done (or undone) is undone. But there is tomorrow to do more and to bring fresh hope to my book. So, my goal for the rest of the month (actually, I'll have to stop January 30) is to write 18,000 words.

Did I just write that? Can I erase it? Too many zeroes in that number.

Here I go again -- starting to back down. But, oh yes I can do it. I grant myself a fresh start. And a fresh big fat number. All I have to do is Write Every Day.

Anne AKA smellshorsey, who appears to have give up but has not.

Coming Soon: Actual Words

OK. A list to dazzle you (or not).

Good news:

The funerals are past.

The Christmas stuff is put away.

The hip is healed up (halleluiah!).

The hubby is well now and back to his regular work schedule.

I have a great idea for killing off a character rather unexpectedly. I'm thinking Jason's mom...That would leave him as a suddenly orphaned teen. Will the large, goat owning, homeschooling family next door take him in? Or will he be consigned as a ward of the State?

Bad news:

My computer (along with my w.i.p.s and my brain cells) is in the shop. I am using my in-laws' computer to check email and waste time on the internet.

I am sick with a nasty stomach bug. (Groovy is longing for "normal"!)

My floor is disgustingly dirty.

I suck at writing by hand.

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So here's the plan: Get well, get the computer back, kill Jason's mom and report my meager word count, vacuum and mop.

In the meantime, I'm off to handwrite (ugh!) a Valentine skit and come up with a couple of kids' songs for our 4-H group.

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You all are doing AWESOME, so KEEP WRITING!!!!