Was I Supposed to Write a Novel This Month?

The hall monitor caught me goofing off in the teacher's lounge. Actually, it was at the vet's office where I had to take my diabetic cat because, to use the medical terminology, he is "out of whack." Blood sugar too high. If only my word count were as high as my cat's blood sugar.

Was I supposed to write a novel this month? Uh oh. I seem to have fallen off the wagon and landed in a puddle.

Lots of personal stuff this month, but isn't that true of everyone? Writing should have been an escape from that, but somehow that didn't happen. Instead, the farther I fell behind in my goals, the more desperate I became. The more I pressured myself, the less I could do. I've got five chapters written and I've stalled.

The good news is that while writing my chapters, I laughed. (And I also burned a couple thousand calories on the treadmill.)

I earned some gold stars but there are too many voids. The interesting thing is that pattern of gold stars. It tells me how I work -- and how I don't work. When I get gold stars, I get them every day. When I don't get them, a whole week can pass by. That means I either work every day -- or I don't work at all. That kind of self-truth is pretty ugly but what it says is don't lose momentum. Keep going!

I need to forgive myself for failing to meet my own expectations, let it go, and get back to writing. This little check-in is a good thing (thanks, Marianne), because it allows me to adjust my goals.

What's done (or undone) is undone. But there is tomorrow to do more and to bring fresh hope to my book. So, my goal for the rest of the month (actually, I'll have to stop January 30) is to write 18,000 words.

Did I just write that? Can I erase it? Too many zeroes in that number.

Here I go again -- starting to back down. But, oh yes I can do it. I grant myself a fresh start. And a fresh big fat number. All I have to do is Write Every Day.

Anne AKA smellshorsey, who appears to have give up but has not.